Let's Talk About Emotions!
Most of us feel emotions, some of us feel them very deeply & some of us well… don’t !
There are countless ways we can feel an emotion, your ‘happy’ is probably not the same as your friend’s ‘happy’.
And there are times, when we want to just feel something, or we want to be able to feel what our friend is feeling, & there might be days when we wished we could feel absolutely nothing at all.
So, what can we understand from all of this? Well, for one, emotions are subjective, everyone feels them in their own way. And second, we all have different expectations from ourselves about our emotions.
Most of us also tend to classify our emotions into positive & negative or good & bad. We put sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. in the bad box because we’ve been trained that these are not good for us or people around us will not like us if we express these emotions or even it’s not very brave to express these emotions.
But we do not agree with this classification. All emotions are equally important & deserve to be felt ! They all add something unique to our lives which is irreplaceable.
‘Why do I need to feel angry?’ you ask... Well, you need to feel angry to express dislike, disagreement, discontentment, etc. with how things are. For example, If you didn’t feel angry at how people were being treated , would you ever stand up for their rights? Our Anger is what changes the world !!
Now to address the negative aspect of emotions, the actual reason why we put these extremely important emotions in the bad box! Anger in itself is not bad, neither is sadness or jealousy… what sometimes makes it bad is our behavior in that state.
When we get angry, do we talk it out, try to change things or do we lash out & become violent? That’s not really the fault of our emotions, it’s our behavior that is harmful or even dysfunctional.
We can have a dysfunctional reaction to our ‘so-called’ positive emotions too. For example, we all enjoy ‘pride’, we’ve accomplished goals, we feel improved self worth, etc.
But what happens when someone has an overdose of pride, we all know that one person, who’s so full of themself & we don’t know how to react around them ! Too much pride makes us more defensive, more sensitive to criticism, & sometimes even insensitive to everything anyone else is saying because we think we know best.
So, now we know that all emotions are necessary & there is a point after which any emotion can be deemed unhealthy or dysfunctional. But unfortunately, there are situations where we cannot afford to express our emotions. We want to scream at our supervisors sometimes, but we all know its not the best idea !
So today, we want to share some tips on how to manage emotions when we cannot afford to FREELY express them.
Distract yourself / focus your attention on something soothing to you like going for a walk, listening to music or meditation.
Re-assess the situation & try to see it from a different perspective.
Take a few deep breaths & count to 10! Try to identify exactly what might be causing the unwanted emotions & if there is a non-threatening way to express it.
If in an argument, let the other know you need some time (preferably state how long you need minimum 20 mins & maximum 24 hours) and walk away & come back with a clear mind to have a calm discussion.
Be aware of your mood & the things that may affect it, like for example, you may get irritable or cranky when hungry or tired, attempt to avoid being in situations that you know might trigger you, but since it's not always possible, try to find solutions like grabbing a snack, or taking a break or nap, when you notice your mood changing.